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Submitted: November 23, 2010
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The appleby ~ametyst21

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Visual & Found Poetry

written: 22.11.2010
photo by: ecaterina [link]

i wrote the poem in two stages; 1st part while living like in a dream; the 2nd when there were only memories of it...
but i still like thinking about it...it gives me the illusion of lasting happiness...
oh, and by the way...the apple from the poem in the one in the background...

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*noirre Nov 23, 2010 Student Filmographer

I like the idea of mix and match, but I don't really like the unrhymed part.

Sorry! For me it has too much "..."'s and maybe it's just too prose-like to fit in - if the rest of the poem would be free verse, it might sink in better, now it stands out in the wrong sort of way.

The other parts have nice rhymes, even if the rhythm isn't all that consistent. I love how you incorporated "apples of all times" and the different meanings they have held, and how in the end, the biggest meaning of all is something that is very personal.

~ametyst21 Nov 23, 2010

thank you so much both for the criticism and giving the own opinion of the poem

i appreciate it

and about the poem, indeed, it was very emotional for me to write it...

~007Balel Nov 23, 2010 Student Writer

This is very nice and romantic

I love the beginning and end parts.. how they are the same but with that little difference

~ametyst21 Nov 23, 2010

thank you so much for this

and about the beginning and ending i wrote "Fall" in the similar way

and yes...the real meeting was also very romantic...as like the one in the poem

~007Balel Nov 24, 2010 Student Writer

your welcome

`MagicalJoey Nov 23, 2010 Writer

Apart from my ususal grammar moans (I'm slightly paranoid

when it comes to grammar) I really this this one.

The repetition of the first bit at the end, with a different ending, makes it very interesting and you have included some facts about apples that I didn't know and found very intriguing.

Just one thing, if you don't have this on full-view it is readable, but 'Greece' looks like 'Greeee' so maybe include a note in your A/C that it should be on FV?